Mistletoe Mishaps

This year it was a treat for my whole family to be together at Christmas time.  It rarely happens, mostly because we all live so far apart. Part of me wonders if there might be another reason we haven't all been together since 2004... As I recount some Christmases of yesteryear let me know what you think. ;)  

At Christmas time in 2000 we lived in a cute old apartment on a busy street.  There was only one parking spot reserved for us in the lot, so us kids had to park our beater cars on the street.  On Christmas Eve's Eve, my big brother,  Rocky, gets home late from a night out.  He sees police cars swarming around my big sister, Annie's, car.  He runs up to the scene, fearing the worst and looking for poor Annie ("Poor Annie" has become a commonly used phrase in our family and over time you'll see why.)  The car is completely obliterated.  He doesn't see her anywhere. 

He runs over and the Police explain it was hit with no one in it. Whew....He runs up the three flights of stairs, huffing and puffing, his arms  full of clothes and the few belongings he could salvage from her car. He finds Annie cluelessly watching a movie with an old high school friend as the police lights flash against the window. He alerts her that her black Beretta with the red racing stripe is no more.  Annie mourns the loss of her car, thankful she wasn't in it and thankful the money from the accident pays for her to get another run-down car. This time a black Cavalier. Other than Annie being car less, Christmas day went by seemingly without a hitch.

The week before Christmas of 2003, my mom came down with the stomach flu. It passed to me and then to my elder sister.  Mom couldn’t handle Annie not being there for the Christmas day festivities so we pleaded with her to come.  Annie somehow summoned the strength.  She lived across town in an apartment building and went to the parking lot to warm up her car. A smart move when you live in a cold Midwestern town.  What wasn’t a smart move was locking her keys in her running car, meaning she was now stuck outside in the snowstorm and couldn't even re-enter her apartment.  Mom sent big brother to save the day.  Unfortunately for Rocky’s immune system, all this happened in the middle of a blizzard so AAA was backed up.  He knew his fate was sealed when he and his sister's germs were stuck together in his car for hours. 

Annie and Rocky eventually made it to Christmas.  Annie couldn’t eat a thing and hardly cared what gifts she was given.  Poor Rocky was heard heaving in the bathroom later that night. Mom loves to recount him consoling his scared dog, "Spooner"  in between bouts of vomiting. Merry Christmas to all.

On Christmas Eve 2004 Annie decides to head downtown to pick up a last minute gift for dad-tickets to a comedy club.  It is not a great part of town so mom sends Rocky along to be the protector.  They borrow mom's run-down Ford Explorer and head out for the quick errand. Fifteen minutes into the trip the car dies on E. 9th St. (not a good area).  Annie thinks it all seems a little too familiar and realizes her car has broken down here before.  They have to wait for help so they go inside the nearby gas station to pass time. The little gas station is having their holiday get together, so the place is packed.  One of the women workers buys an Usher CD and tries to get the good lookin' Rocky to dance with her. Annie sits on the counter because there isn't much room and gets scolded by the owner.  They spend hours there while mom and I try to keep dinner warm and ready for them.  They make it home eventually and we can at least be thankful we don't all have the stomach flu.  Happy Holidays.

In 2006 my then 3 year old half brother was sitting at dinner a few days before Christmas when suddenly he vomited all over the floor.  The disease that is out to get my poor family during the holidays worked its magic, attacking innocent victims one at a time.  The day after Christmas Rocky and I were scheduled to fly to Minnesota to visit Mom (who had moved out there).  I hoped and prayed I would be the lucky one who would escape the dreadful fate.

 Alas, I was never the strong one. Christmas day I got it… Fever, chills, you name it I had it.  I could hardly move.  Would I get up and make it or cancel the flight and ruin Christmas?

Somehow I got ready for that early morning flight out of Ohio.  I normally get motion sick, so whenever I fly I have to take Dramamine. (I don’t know why Dramamine even has a non-drowsy option as either kind knocks me out within 20 minutes of taking it and leaves me in a daze for at least a day). For once I was thankful for the sleeping pill and slept my whole flight to Chicago. 

Unfortunately our plane landed late and Rocky and I had to sprint through Chicago O’Hare Airport to make our connecting flight.  I was still dazed and half asleep, wearing my heavy winter coat, and I remember thinking I wouldn’t make it.  My poor family would have to come to Chicago to pick up my corpse.  I kept my eyes on Rocky as he ran a few steps ahead of me and we somehow made it to the gate literally two minutes before our flight took off. They rushed us on and we sat in our seats, sweaty and panting.  I ripped off my coat with vigor. You should’ve seen the look the guy in the seat beside me gave us.  We made it safely to MN where I was kept quarantined for a day or so. Luckily the disease stopped with me that year. Feliz Navidad.

Stay tuned to hear what fate my family suffered THIS Christmas....